The Importance of Friendship - In To Me I See

The importance of friendship has been discussed throughout the centuries as a part of life. But what is friendship really? How do you define it? How do you know if it is a friendship or simply an acquaintance with mutual interest?

Webster's Dictionary defines it as simply being friends or feeling friendly. So what is a friend? Webster's says it is a person to whom we know well and are fond of, an ally, supporter or sympathizer.

My definition: it all begins with self. I am often asked who my best friend is and get the strange looks when I share with people I am my own best friend. If I can not be a friend to myself - someone I am fond of, know well, my own ally, my own supporter or even my own sympathizer - how am I ever going to be a friend of yours?

Recently I was in a situation where I was asked how can I be "friends" with someone who acted (really reacted) in such a way that could be described as "self serving" and ego based. If I truly know myself and reflect at my own actions (reactions) over the course of my life, I can observe times where I have acted in a manner that was "self serving" and ego based. So I can see myself in this "friend". Seeing myself, I would have judge myself just as harshly as i am judging this "friend".

Every relationship that a person can have is truly based upon the relationship that they have with themselves. So many today that I meet do not even know where to begin to have a relationship with their own souls, that they end up wondering why they are always the "victim" in life of "friends" not being there when they need them.

In To Me I See is the definition of intimacy that I use in my relationships. When I am reflecting on a relationship with friends and wondering where it stands, I go back to my In to me I see list. This is a list I created years and years ago that still works today. It is a list that I use to base all other relationships on. Every "friend", including myself, my husband, my children I subject to the In To Me I See list.

What is this list? It is a list of my ideal relationship. A list of what my ideal's are in life for any soul that is to be in that all so important "friendship" circle. It has ideals such as trust worthy, spirit filled, balanced, and humorous. The things in life that are ideals that I want in my life. I want "friends" in my relationship that are trustworthy; thus, I must ask myself am I trustworthy. I want "friends" in my life that see humor in life; thus, I must ask myself do I see humor or am I too serious.

I ask myself am I working towards or away from these ideals first. Then I can ask if my "friends" in relationships with me are working towards or away from the ideals as well. Many times I find that when I am at odds with "friends" I am really at odds with myself. I can change myself - I can not change my "friends".

Do you have an In To Me I See List? Do you know what the ideal friendship looks like for you? Friendship with my best friend is the most important relationship I have.