Dia - Looking For Critque Before Proceeding With Book Proposal

EPILOGUE From Book One

It was the beginning and yet the ending. The time of the Dark Days enveloping like a cold mist. A time when all had the opportunity to tinker with the various rays of energy. The rays that bind all creation. Overriding the creative intent of free will the Ancient Ones gave.

Even the keepers of light, the true Guardians, were unable to hold the fabric of the Divine Plan Tapestry together as it began to unravel. Leaving many without purpose. Without meaning. Without destiny. Calling the Brethren to gather and unite in the struggle to find a way of light once more. The Fate, the very loom of destiny, bound all to a gray fiber. Neither black or white. Encompassing all colors, yet bound to none.

The skies filled with a sea of gossamer clouds.

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Chapter One

The last true conversation with Voltai and Lucis had not been a pleasant. Recalling the days before making the final choices that is sure now led all she held near and dear into the darkest days.

"This so called brethren of yours has what taken my mother, ostracized my father until his death, broken my grandmothers heart, and now; and now taken my Frederick from me. I hate you all. Leave me be." I screamed at Voltai.

"The virtue of honor requires one to adhere to their own oaths and do the right thing. Even when the right thing ultimately will hurt others or perhaps even ones own self in the process. This is what your mother believed stronger than anything. Her own oath to the Ancient Ones. The same oath her mother took. It is also the belief of the brethren and that of Frederick."

"How does anyone have any joy knowing what was to become of them? Tell me that?"

"Courage does not always wear a public face. It is standing up in the face of adversity. Especially when alone. Sometimes courage is simply getting up and going about daily routine when the pain has worn you down and doing so without complaint. The joy of knowing what you will leave behind fuels that courage."

I did not want to face Voltai again, still after all this time, could not find it within me to forgive him for all that had transpired even though he was my only living family. So many nights I sat on the swing staring up to the mountain where it all seemed to begin, simply wishing for my grandfather to have been someone different.

My thoughts drifted back to the rock where once she had brought together her father and grandmother to find consoling from them. The rock that once provided for hope and answers was empty as the words of the ancient Ones drifted upon me in the wind - realizing it was me that was caught between the realms - one foot with the ancient ones and one foot with her child and the dark forest.

The rock where so long ago had met my own father and learned of the forks in the road that my journey would take me upon. The same overwhelming emotion flooding back of wanting to scream out at somebody, anybody or anything. Why did the choices that I had to make become so important to other people? Why couldn't I have just made choices to make me happy? All I wanted to was to live with Frederick in our little house, swing together on the front porch and watch the sunset. Was that so much to ask for?

Even now the words of my father come tumbling back to me. "Do not allow another to choose for you. You choose. You choose your own destiny. Your own path.Their choices are not the only choices. They have to give answers to all your choices. They just do not have to tell you there choices. Find a different way to...." The choices of which path to take were still riddled with consequences and those consequences leading to yet more choices. It was as though life was a riddle its self. A riddle with no answer.

Wondering what Grandmother and Voltai would have to say of the choices that I have made? Or Mother and Father? What would they say now? Glancing to the gray skies upon hearing the resounding call of the Hawk that still kept vigil over me. Knowing did not have to ask what Frederick would have said. Things for Him were always so black and white.

Realizing at an even greater level that it was me caught between the planes of different realms. One foot with the Ancient Ones and one foot with her child and the dark forest. Unable to be in either. Trying to shake the feeling of being watched as the sun set across the lake. There was a time when the lake was pure crystal in color. Now it only was a collection of dreary mists that carried ghosts across the water.

Choices. That was the riddle that had been plaguing her for the past year. It had been only weeks in my mind as the days and hours melded together. Only the bare necessities of life getting done. The gardens producing only necessities of vegetables and no longer radiated the once glorious colors of buds bursting into bloom.

A flash caught the lost gaze. Rising to stand on the edge of the porch as waited for another flash to appear. The em blazed green streak was barely visible through the gray fog that seemed to settle across everything as far as the eyes could see. But was sure that it had been there. In the exact place high atop the mountain peak where had traveled nearly a year ago in search of this tear in the fabric that had caused so much loss in her life.

Returning inside the once joy filled cottage to retrieve a blanket to cover up with intending on spending the night watching for another spark to light up. Stopping short as glanced in the dust covered mirror looking at the reflection staring back at her. A flash of remembrance coming back when she first saw a mirror and her own reflection. There was no sparkle in her eyes. For a mere 18 year old woman she knew she had aged incredibly over the past year. The image having caught her off guard.

When was the last time she actually took a long bath and brushed her hair the one hundred times as was her habit before all of this changed her. Honestly unable to remember. Taking the luxury of bathing and brushing her hair as something no longer afforded. Deciding long ago if Frederick was relegated to the skies there was no reason to dabble in the frivolity of primping. Now it was time. Why now? No answer. But the spark of green that was sure had seen shifted something within. Was it the mere hope rekindled that perhaps there were still choices that could be made to shift the consequences of her own actions? Having not slept in weeks as a child screaming or a Hawk calling in her nightmares kept her from finding a peaceful slumber, the warm water of the bath seemed to wash away the tired and achy feeling cast upon her.

Drying the far to skinny frame and finding that none of her own clothes were left clean, dared to touch across the cotton shirts once worn by Frederick. Fingers caressing them as though they held some part of his essence still within the woven threads. The shirt far to big as slipped it over my head, but the warmth of its fabric covered her in a protective layer. Sitting down as she had done so many evenings during her time with Frederick and picking up the silver hair brush, beginning to slowly count out the strokes. It had been a ritual that she would sit there and count the strokes of the hair brush while he stood just in view from the window chopping wood for the fire they would have.

Letting the lashes close not wanting to stare out the window and try to remember the at the emptiness counting out the strokes of the brush. Stopping after only a few dozen as eyes widen at the light like a beacon in the sky. Rushing to the door to stare up at the mountain top knowing this time it was not an imagination that there was light atop the mountain again. The veil between the realms was opening again. Turning to look up at the roof of the cabin where the Hawk usually perched itself unable to find it. Never being able to come to terms with the fact that it was Frederick according to the Dark Forest. Was he causing the light? Voltai and Lucis came to mind wondering if they were the cause of the light?

Not caring actually who or what the cause of the light was, only knowing that at first dawn she was once again making the journey to the mountain top. Once again she was going to search out the Ancient Ones and the voices of the Dark Forest that had done battle their so long ago. Grabbing the blanket curled up on the swing and gazed out across the field and lake to watch for more signs that the veil was parting once again.

Chapter Two

The morning light startling as awoke to the sound of horses hoofs on the ground. It had been so long ago that the sound had been heard that at first it was a confusing noise. Sitting up right squinting to try and see through the morning fog who was approaching. Visitors did not arrive at her cottage. She had been self sufficient and needed not even venture into the nearby town as her grandmother had. So remote in the forest was her cottage that it was akin to being cloaked in mystery to anyone who might travel the remote paths. So to hear horses hoofs so close was cause enough to startle her. Finding it was morning and she had not packed or prepared for her own journey was quite another.

Finally, the two horses appeared. The conflicting emotions coursing through her veins as the figures approached. Unsure if she was full of rage that they even dare to return to her cottage after all that has been said and done or if was filled with excitement knowing their return confirms that something is happening on the mountain top.

Before able to discern her own emotions, Voltai dismounted from his horse and strode to the steps of the porch. "Fallon child are you ok? "

"I am no longer a child Grandfather and can take care of myself as I have for the past year," the words slipped past her tongue before she could stop them. Never before had she called him Grandfather. Why did that come so easily now?

The azure blue eyes held her transfixed hearing the soft aria of her voice calling him Grandfather for the first time as though searching out her soul for some answer he could not find. Many words left unspoken but the conversation transpired telling him everything that had happened since their last visit. Voltai saw the child's birth and its existence. He also saw the toil the consequences had taken upon the sweet child Fallon he once knew. Grateful for the moment to see, at least, the fiery spirit had not left her. "Do you still wear Epona Fallon?"

The question seemed to be lost on her as saw Lucis stand with his arm out and the Hawk flying to rest upon it. The vibrations of their souls unchanged even as Frederick was no longer able to speak with Fallon. He could with his own father. Watching while tears flooded her eyes filling them with pools of desperation and sadness that had been damned up for so long. The damn broken by the sight of the father and son together. Voltai turning to see what was causing the reaction from Fallon as he did, he understood.

In two steps he reached the swing cupping Fallon to his chest allowing her to sob against him knowing that the tears were clearing the pains and sorrows of the past year. Feeling the strength and familiarity of her Grandfather allowing myself the solace of the security of his arms. For a moment feeling the connection of blood that began the flow of tears. The flow of familial blood coursing through my veins was not something that was a part of my past. Having never met my mother and save for a single conversation had no father either. Frederick had been the only family, the only life with true emotional connection such as this.

Voltai not moving, wanting to relish his beautiful granddaughter, wanting to be apart of his family for the first time in his life. He too had a life full of loss. He had lost his soul mate and mother to the delight of his life, Maggie. Then he lost Maggie and gained the fiery spirited Fallon. He had been determined not to loose her as well. Having met Constance and came to love her as his anama cara. Now she too was gone. His student and the son he had always wanted was taken from him. And now even his great grandchild was out of reach. But for this brief beat of his heart, he had his Fallon.

Luicis remained off to the side with the Hawk perched upon his arm knowing the exchange between Voltai and Fallon was something special not to be intruded upon. And after all there was time. Time to what was the question. So much of his life had changed over the past year. The choices that his son and daughter in law had made would forever alter his life and the lives of so many others.

The green flashes lit up the sky breaking through the thoughts that each one of the group gathered there were having in their own private worlds. The reality of choices imprinted upon the gray skies ensuring that each of them became acutely aware of the presence of something that was about to begin.

The cycle begins again as one breath is taken and another is given. The duality existing to balance itself out. Where light touches upon the horizon, many times one can not tell if morning is breaking or the dark of night is beginning.